Contradictions

I understand who I am now
I'm arrogant
I'm selfish
I probably think I'm better than you
But I hate myself
I hate myself too

I'm adamant about being a waste of space
Because I was always told that I was great
Its the curse of being self aware
And hating every minute

But despite all the negative
All I want to do is help others
And then drop out of their lives
Cause I'm too much a burden
To have around for long

Cause I understand who I am now
I'm sad and reflective
I'm emphatic
I expierence life through everyone else
And I'm burnt out
So god dammed burned out...

I desire to be of some use to someone else
But I can't even help myself
Because I don't want too
I just want to exist
I want to live in monotony
It would be easier that way

But despite all the negative
All I want to do is help others
And then drop out of their lives
Cause I'm too much a burden
To have around for long

Cause I understand who I am now
A man of contradictions
A man of emotions
A man of everything he's not
A man of everything
That I am not