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This is where good things go to die
And I remember when I lost all my friend here
This is where good things go to die
And I remember when I broke my heart here
This is where good things go to die
And I remember when I lost my life here

I guess it comes with my age
I've spent my entire life here
Eating at the local diner
At two thirty in the morning
Drowning myself in coffee
To forget all my problems
Only to remember them
For the next five hours laying in bed
I can't sleep
I wonder why

This is where good things go to die
And I remember when I lost all my friend here
This is where good things go to die
And I remember when I broke my heart here
This is where good things go to die
And I remember when I lost my life here
I guess it comes with a sad face

You might remember that one time
That we sat at the water front
For six fucking hours
That's the last time we had a real talk
I mentioned how you were fucked either way
Then we laughed about it

This is where good things go to die
And I remember when I lost all my friend here
This is where good things go to die
And I remember when I broke my heart here
This is where good things go to die
And I remember when I lost my life here
I guess it comes with this place

small smiles

I
AM
LOSING ALL MY FRIENDS
THROUGH APATHY AND AGONY

There are no words
To describe how I can't talk to you anymore
Out loud the words
Just don't come out of my mouth
And digitally
They just don't have the same meaning
Its like I'm mute with you
but too dead to care

So lighten up your little smiles
I burdened them all away
Feelings will mean more without me
I'm taking myself away

The last important thing I ever said
Was about how I feel in head
About how I don't think we'll remain friends
I couldn't stay alive for more than six months
Before I cut myself again
I hope that one day this trend with stop
Cause its a burden to us all
Mixing metal and flesh

So lighten up your little smiles
I burdened them all away
Feelings will mean more without me
I'm taking myself away

Its funny how you've acted
Since I've stopped trying at this colloquial game
Not a word or a peep
Our friendship was nothing more
Then a crutch anyway
So let's stop limping
And walk away

So lighten up your little smiles
I burdened them all away
Feelings will mean more without me
I'm taking myself away
Ill find myself a way.

Contradictions

I understand who I am now
I'm arrogant
I'm selfish
I probably think I'm better than you
But I hate myself
I hate myself too

I'm adamant about being a waste of space
Because I was always told that I was great
Its the curse of being self aware
And hating every minute

But despite all the negative
All I want to do is help others
And then drop out of their lives
Cause I'm too much a burden
To have around for long

Cause I understand who I am now
I'm sad and reflective
I'm emphatic
I expierence life through everyone else
And I'm burnt out
So god dammed burned out...

I desire to be of some use to someone else
But I can't even help myself
Because I don't want too
I just want to exist
I want to live in monotony
It would be easier that way

But despite all the negative
All I want to do is help others
And then drop out of their lives
Cause I'm too much a burden
To have around for long

Cause I understand who I am now
A man of contradictions
A man of emotions
A man of everything he's not
A man of everything
That I am not

Figuratively Of Course.

I shape my fingers as a gun
Point and click at my right temple
Blow my brains out
Wish it happened
Right that second

Grab the knife
So obviously imaginary
Stake it through my heart
To end all of my vampire tendencies
Im done sucking blood
From all of my best friends

Silver bullet through my chest
Kill me while I am a beast
So I can't so unconsciously
Harm everything right next to me

Its morning again as I
I shape my fingers as a gun
Point and click at my right temple
Blow my brains out
Wish it happened
Right that fucking second

Crosses to hold me at bay
When I know what I'm doing is wrong
But I'm doing it anyway
And if I get too out of control
Grab an axe and behead me
As soon as you get a chance

And if I rise again
Promise me you'll kill me again
Cause its not safe for you
When I an alive

Its the second coming as I
I shape my fingers as a gun
Point and click at my right temple
Blow my brains out
Wish it happened
RIGHT THIS FUCKING SECOND

And if I rise again
Promise me you'll kill me again
And if I rise again
Promise me you'll kill me again
And if I rise again
Promise me you'll kill me again
AND IF I RISE AGAIN
PROMISE ME YOU'LL KILL ME AGAIN

Disappointment

I understand
That ill be a disappointment, in your eyes
And if it were up to me
I might just up and leave
But its the obligation
In the way we're connected
That makes me suffer at your feet

Does it make you angry
When I say
That I won't make it through college
That I don't have a plan or a job or any aspirations
That Ill end up spending my 20s as a ghost
That in the end
I don't want to be anything

I never really had a direction
I've just spent my life
Trying to live in a way
Where I would end up happy
Wherever the hell that is

Cause I'm confused at what to do
I waste days away with useless knowledge
All I want is to live in my own way
But that won't make you happy
No, I'm destined disappointment

Does it make you angry
When I say
That I won't make it through college
That I don't have a plan or a job or any aspirations
That Ill end up spending my 20s as a ghost
That in the end
I don't want to be anything

I'm so sorry
That I won't make you proud
I tried but its not my way
I just can't try anymore
I'm sorry

It makes me sad
To think of how you feel
When you think of how
I won't make it through college
I don't have a plan or a job or any aspirations
Ill end up spending my 20s as a ghost
In the end we both know I won't be anything

Home

I'd tell the saddest story
But I know you'll just laugh
When I mention all the times
I've never had to do anything for myself
But maybe in the end
That's exactly why I'm sad

So instead of singing shitty songs
About being on the road
Ill just sing shitty songs
About never leaving this town
And the only things I've ever loved

Whether it was the girl a town over who never really loved me
Or the restraunt I hit after midnight every night
With the same old friends who have yet to leave
I've never been good at change
But maybe I should start
I wouldn't count on it though

This life of leisure that I lead as apparent as it feels
Is the very reason that I can't stand the skin I live in
I just don't know what to do with my hands

So instead of singing shitty songs
About being on the road
Ill just sing shitty songs
About never leaving this town
And the only things I've ever loved

I haven't cut myself in six whole months
And I don't know about you
But that's a fucking accomplishment
Especially
When I've spent the whole last year
With a razor in my wallet
Just itching for this fight with myself to pick up again

So instead of singing shitty songs
About being on the road
Ill just sing shitty songs
About never leaving this town
And the only things I've ever loved

Heart Sounds

http://soundcloud.com/kevin-kelley/heartsong

I may be hundreds of miles away
But the sky is still the same
And I have memories of texting you
About how we still see the same moon
It makes me sick to my stomach
To remember all the lengths
I used to go through
For you to lie about how you loved me

My heart sounds are no longer in tune with you
And my heart beat is no longer in time with you
We're so out of sync but I'm still searching for another version you
Which I'm sure ill never find

I wake up at the crack of dusk
Wishing for all the time I wasted back
All the friends I used to have
That left their mark on my soul
For better or for worse
I am who I am today
All because of a girl
Cause when I fall
I hit the ground

-spoken- I remember that time I biked 30 miles to your house at 2 in the morning during the middle of winter because I was worried that you might kill yourself. You didn't. I got home that morning right before school started, exhausted, freezing, and sick I continued on.

The way the world worked back then
We were constantly intertwined
And I understand I made mistakes
But you made so much more
Still you kicked me out the door

I don't know how many times I've crawled back to you.
But let's make it not another more

My heart sounds are no longer in tune with you
And my heart beat is no longer in time with you
We're so out of sync but I'm still searching for another version you
Which I'm sure ill never find
Cause when I fall
I hit the ground

-spoken-
Maybe one day, some day far from now, you'll wake up and realize what you lost, but then again, you're not really one to care, especially when it comes to me.