Figuratively Of Course.

I shape my fingers as a gun
Point and click at my right temple
Blow my brains out
Wish it happened
Right that second

Grab the knife
So obviously imaginary
Stake it through my heart
To end all of my vampire tendencies
Im done sucking blood
From all of my best friends

Silver bullet through my chest
Kill me while I am a beast
So I can't so unconsciously
Harm everything right next to me

Its morning again as I
I shape my fingers as a gun
Point and click at my right temple
Blow my brains out
Wish it happened
Right that fucking second

Crosses to hold me at bay
When I know what I'm doing is wrong
But I'm doing it anyway
And if I get too out of control
Grab an axe and behead me
As soon as you get a chance

And if I rise again
Promise me you'll kill me again
Cause its not safe for you
When I an alive

Its the second coming as I
I shape my fingers as a gun
Point and click at my right temple
Blow my brains out
Wish it happened
RIGHT THIS FUCKING SECOND

And if I rise again
Promise me you'll kill me again
And if I rise again
Promise me you'll kill me again
And if I rise again
Promise me you'll kill me again
AND IF I RISE AGAIN
PROMISE ME YOU'LL KILL ME AGAIN

Disappointment

I understand
That ill be a disappointment, in your eyes
And if it were up to me
I might just up and leave
But its the obligation
In the way we're connected
That makes me suffer at your feet

Does it make you angry
When I say
That I won't make it through college
That I don't have a plan or a job or any aspirations
That Ill end up spending my 20s as a ghost
That in the end
I don't want to be anything

I never really had a direction
I've just spent my life
Trying to live in a way
Where I would end up happy
Wherever the hell that is

Cause I'm confused at what to do
I waste days away with useless knowledge
All I want is to live in my own way
But that won't make you happy
No, I'm destined disappointment

Does it make you angry
When I say
That I won't make it through college
That I don't have a plan or a job or any aspirations
That Ill end up spending my 20s as a ghost
That in the end
I don't want to be anything

I'm so sorry
That I won't make you proud
I tried but its not my way
I just can't try anymore
I'm sorry

It makes me sad
To think of how you feel
When you think of how
I won't make it through college
I don't have a plan or a job or any aspirations
Ill end up spending my 20s as a ghost
In the end we both know I won't be anything

Home

I'd tell the saddest story
But I know you'll just laugh
When I mention all the times
I've never had to do anything for myself
But maybe in the end
That's exactly why I'm sad

So instead of singing shitty songs
About being on the road
Ill just sing shitty songs
About never leaving this town
And the only things I've ever loved

Whether it was the girl a town over who never really loved me
Or the restraunt I hit after midnight every night
With the same old friends who have yet to leave
I've never been good at change
But maybe I should start
I wouldn't count on it though

This life of leisure that I lead as apparent as it feels
Is the very reason that I can't stand the skin I live in
I just don't know what to do with my hands

So instead of singing shitty songs
About being on the road
Ill just sing shitty songs
About never leaving this town
And the only things I've ever loved

I haven't cut myself in six whole months
And I don't know about you
But that's a fucking accomplishment
Especially
When I've spent the whole last year
With a razor in my wallet
Just itching for this fight with myself to pick up again

So instead of singing shitty songs
About being on the road
Ill just sing shitty songs
About never leaving this town
And the only things I've ever loved

Heart Sounds

http://soundcloud.com/kevin-kelley/heartsong

I may be hundreds of miles away
But the sky is still the same
And I have memories of texting you
About how we still see the same moon
It makes me sick to my stomach
To remember all the lengths
I used to go through
For you to lie about how you loved me

My heart sounds are no longer in tune with you
And my heart beat is no longer in time with you
We're so out of sync but I'm still searching for another version you
Which I'm sure ill never find

I wake up at the crack of dusk
Wishing for all the time I wasted back
All the friends I used to have
That left their mark on my soul
For better or for worse
I am who I am today
All because of a girl
Cause when I fall
I hit the ground

-spoken- I remember that time I biked 30 miles to your house at 2 in the morning during the middle of winter because I was worried that you might kill yourself. You didn't. I got home that morning right before school started, exhausted, freezing, and sick I continued on.

The way the world worked back then
We were constantly intertwined
And I understand I made mistakes
But you made so much more
Still you kicked me out the door

I don't know how many times I've crawled back to you.
But let's make it not another more

My heart sounds are no longer in tune with you
And my heart beat is no longer in time with you
We're so out of sync but I'm still searching for another version you
Which I'm sure ill never find
Cause when I fall
I hit the ground

-spoken-
Maybe one day, some day far from now, you'll wake up and realize what you lost, but then again, you're not really one to care, especially when it comes to me.

Home

Here in Manchester Fucking New Hampshire
Northeast pseudo capital of nothing
Where the snow falls on thanksgiving
And it rains throughout Christmas
Cause the weather from Canada or Florida
Just likes to fuck with us like that

And just like die hard four
We live free or die
Its nice to share something in common
With Bruce Willis
Although I think that's just out license plates

I think we might of had a president
In the nineteenth century
Born somewhere nearby
Franklin Pierce or something like that
He's was kind of forgettable and supported slavery
But here in New Hampshire we turn the other cheek

Oh for better or worse we're known for Adam sandler
He went to the same school that I did
Twenty something years earlier
And Sarah silvermen was born a town over
I guess we have something in the comedy department
To tie it all together, this place kind of sucks
But we love it anyway.

Arrows and such

I always start out strong
But I manage to finish in last place
And I used to be stronger
But at one time I was weaker
So I'm content where I am right now

Giving up on you
Is the best thing that ill ever do
Giving up on everything
Just to start again

I'm sick of racing life
For its misery
I'm gonna calm down
And slow down
Cause I took a proverbial arrow to the knee
Fighting my feelings like I was Bruce lee

Its never to late to rethink life
So I'm starting now
No longer chasing the crown
Or reaching out for halos
Ill stick with my guitar for now

And giving up on you
Is the best thing that ill ever do
Giving up on everything
Just to start again

And giving up on you
Is the best thing that ill ever do
Giving up on everything
Just to start again

Moving On

I remember how I felt
When I started writing songs
Specifically about you
And I remember how I felt
When you didn't care at all
It was just yesterday
When I grew up
Just a little bit
Cause the fairytale ending
That I always hoped for
Will never come true
But the truth is
Maybe now I'm happy
Maybe now ill move on

Its almost the new year
And its another one of the phases
Where we will never talk again
That is until the spring
When you realize its my birthday
You'll wish me a happy one
And tell me that you love me
And ill say I love you back
But maybe I won't respond
Maybe ill move on
Even if that means
I'm growing up

Several years from now
We'll probably meet again
It will be a sad reunion
Ill be alone
While you'd be likely married
To someone who you just met
Cause that's just who you are
You always ignore
Just what you've always had
And now I'm catching on
So maybe I will move on
Maybe ill grow up
Even if it means growing away
From you

Just as a reminder
Ill keep my head about me
Singing this song
It will be the last one
That I will ever write
About you
Cause now I'm done
Now I'm moving on
Now I'm growing up
Its ironic I know
That I've always loved you
But you never loved me
So Finally
I guess
I need to
Thank you
One last time

Goodnight Kevin

Goodnight Kevin.
sleep well tonight
As tonight is the only night
to dream in heaven

Run away from demons
Life will be better
When you wake up
Life will be better

Goodnight Kevin
sleep well tonight
As tonight is the only night
To dream a good dream

Live long and prosper
That's what they say
But I'd rather
You just smile today

Goodnight Kevin
sleep well tonight
As tonight is the only night
To dream about love

Living in the night
Isn't as nice
as you might think
Its quite sorrowful

Quite sorrowful

(break)

Goodnight Kevin
sleep well tonight
As tonight is the only night
To dream at all

Beautiful Futures

The words that I sing
Like weak little lies
Attempt to hide
Just who I really am

Dependent on razors
And white little pills
Maybe a song
Or maybe some thrills
Equivalent to what you left behind

Now if only I could sing
I'd sing you a song
Worthy of you
And all of your futures
Your beautiful futures

The words that I sing
Like white little lies
Attempt to hide
Just how I truly feel

Due to hearts and hand grenades
My head explodes
All the time
When it comes to you
I wish I knew
Just what I should do
When it comes to you

And when it comes to you
I wish I could sing
Cause I'd sing you a song
One worthy of
All your beautiful futures
Your goddamn beautiful futures
I'm so fucking happy you have
Such beautiful futures

05.21.1993

http://soundcloud.com/kevin-kelley/nights

There's a time of the night
When I just need a face
To look me in the eyes
To tell me I'm alright

There's a time of the night
That requires a walk down the street
To hide in your arms
To make me feel alright

Sadness comes in the night
(I know your afraid of the dark)
Sadness comes in the night
(I know your afraid of the dark)
I'm afraid of the night!

There's a time of the night
When I could use a light
To open up in the sky
To remind me of you

There's a time of the night
When I could use a friend
To keep by my side
To keep me alive

Sadness comes in the night
(I know your afraid of the dark)
Sadness goes in the day
(I know your afraid of the light)
I'm afraid of today!

There's a time of the day
When the sun comes out
To burn away the night
To burn away self hate

There's a time of the day
That's worse than the night
Worse than my sadness
Worse than my life

That's when I'm asleep!

Sadness comes in the day
(I know your afraid of the light)
Sadness goes in the night
(I know your afraid of the dark)
I'm afraid of tonight!

It might be hard to believe
What its like to be me
How could I be so sad
How could it be so bad

My answer would be
That I did it myself
Made myself so hurt
Made myself pathetic

I brought myself so down
I brought my life to a halt
I just wanted to stop
I just want it to stop!

..(crickets)..

Sadness comes in the night
Sadness goes in the day
(I know your afraid of it all)
Sadness comes in the day
Sadness goes in the night
(I know your afraid of it all)
I'm afraid of life!

Sadness comes in the night
Sadness goes in the day
(I know your afraid of it all)
Sadness comes in the day
Sadness goes in the night
(I know your afraid of it all)
I'm afraid of life!

Bullet

If being sad
Means that someone else will be happy
Ill bite that bullet
I'd even shove the gun down my throat.

Self sacrificing
Is just a lie
I display outside my heart
To make you like me
In so many words
To make you care

There are sometimes
I just want you to scream at me
Telling me that you love me
In anyway shape or form
Because I'm beginning to think
That I don't ever cross your mind
God I hope that's not true

Now if being sad
Means that someone else will be happy
Ill bite that bullet
I'd even shove the gun down my throat
In the most painful way

Its all a lie
My facade and I
Ten feet of ice
Surrounds my heart
But it still beats
Only for you

Now I'm falling asleep
Awaiting your reply
That you won't ever send
Because you're too messed up to care
Just like me

There are sometimes
I just want you to scream at me
Telling me that you love me
In anyway shape or form
Because I'm beginning to think
That I don't ever cross your mind
God I hope that's not true
I pray that's not true

if being sad
Means that someone else will be happy
Ill bite that bullet
I'd even shove the gun down my throat
While pulling the trigger

Start Tomorrow

I've charmed my way through life
Making friends I shouldn't have
passing by when I should of failed

Now I know
What it takes to be a man
And I don't think I've got there yet
Cause I'm not a man at all
I'm just a kid

Loving myself but really I don't
hating the choices I've made
When it comes down to fixing myself
I guess I should start today

Now I know
What it takes to be a man
And I don't think I've got there yet
Cause I'm not a man at all
I'm just a kid
Haunted by his memories
Of never trying hard enough
To reach my full potential
But I'm always getting by
And I hate myself for it
I should of failed
I should of died
But I know im not that lucky

Loving myself but really I don't
hating the choices I've made
When it comes down to fixing myself
I guess I should start today
I guess I should start today
Or maybe ill just start tomorrow.

Forever Never

Those words inside my head
Telling me to hate myself instead
Like all those boys in your bed
That make you feel so much better
I'm waking up again
To heartache and hand grenades
Blowing up my unrequited love for you

My weakness of character
Brings me to still talk you
About all the stupid shit you do
And all the lies you put me through
But now this is a silence
Between your heart and mine
Between my life and yours

X and Os only went so far
Breathing down my toyed with heart
Listening to how you'll always remember me
But not in a way that I want
Forever never in your arms.

Back and forth listening to you
Whine and die complain and cry
About the boys in your life
I'm sick of it
I want to be that boy
But I don't have the guts to tell you
unless I write it in this song
Ill be forever never in you arms

The worse part of this story
Is that deep down you really know
But you choose to ignore it
And let me suffer from myself
You tell me you care
But I'm not sure you really do
Brings me to question
Why I really want to be with you

Forever never in your arms
Forever never in your arms
Forever never in your arms
FOREVER NEVER IN YOUR
ARMS!

Party.

I hope you're ready to lose some friends

Roll the dice then hit the block
You'll never know how far you'll really go
Cause life is like a game
And sometimes (sometimes)
you just have to trust in lady luck
To guide you through

Maybe you're a winner
(Or maybe you're a loser)
Maybe you've got a star under your belt
(Maybe you've got no chance to win)
Maybe you've got coins to spare
On items like mystical lamps
(But what does winning mean anyway)
If your still having fun
I hope you're having fun!

If you care to much
Or don't care at all
Go on leave it to luck
When skill fails you
You know you its time for
Chance Time!

Someone might get hurt
Someone might get paid
You might lose a friend
You might lose it all
All because of chance
You might go from
Hero to Zero Or Zero to Hero

Maybe you're a winner
(Or maybe you're a loser)
Maybe you've got a star under your belt
(Maybe you've got no chance to win)
Maybe you've got coins to spare
On items like mystical lamps
(But what does winning mean anyway)
If your still having fun
I hope you're having fun!

Cause it feels like this game will never end
(but secretly you never want it to)
You're hoping for last turn star power
(your hoping for a perfect ending)
One where you'll win by the last turn
One where you become the
SUPER STAR!

Red Light District

Sitting at red lights
Knowing that they'll never turn green
Its a pass time of ours
To waste time in this meaningful way
Broken red lights
Symbolic of our everything

Cars backed up behind us
Wasting time for everyone
But they fail to realize
That life is one red light

So I hope you're waiting for me
Because I have been waiting
For hours and hours
If you keep waiting
You'll soon be dead
Then ill have my own head

The cars behind our car
Don't run this never ending light
For fear of doing something wrong
In front of a perfect stranger

Sitting at red lights
Knowing that they'll never turn green
Its a pass time of ours
To waste time in this meaningful way
Broken red lights
Symbolic of our everything

You and me
And our little troubles
Pass by with our broken
Streak of luck
Which of such we never truly had
Bad luck is just my favorite excuse
As that is all I really want to have

But I think Ill be biting my tongue
When this fucking car
Follows us down this lonely shitty street
Scary thoughts of ultimate bad luck
Filling our heads
As that sketchy car takes an uzi to our face
We pass out only to find out
We've been dead this entire fucking time

End Of Our Lives

I never met an adult I liked
But now I guess I am one
So now I think I hate myself
Nothing ever really changes

I've never had a positive role model
Everybody I knew has gone wrong
Self-destroyed their own life
With false love and weak wills
They've paved a path for a monster
A self-inflicting masochist
With bloody arms and bloody wrists
Who hates everyone and everything
But he loves them all just the same
This paradox is his game

Now I am wearing thin
This chaos seems like home
Where my head has been made a prison
And my heart is the warden
This time its driving me crazy
To be divided like this
But I think the answer lies
in a prison brake
So mark my words
If I ever got a hold of a gun
I'd kiss this hell goodbye

I stopped caring
the exact minute
I saw your inhuman eyes
I knew I met a demon
I knew I saw the devil in disguise
My childs heart
Blackened in response
I saw my fate before my eyes
I'd end up a suicide
But to bad I don't believe in fate

And maybe
Somewhere along the way
Ill find a reason to believe
Ill have a change of heart
One where Ill fix my broken self
By destroying the monster
And rebuilding myself
Because picking up the pieces
And putting them back together
never truly works for long

And its true
I've never met an adult I liked
But now I guess I am one
So ill be better then all of them
Ill be someone's role model
I won't ever give up
No I won't ever give up.

Giving Up

I've got news for you angel
I've fallen and there's no way back
To the place that you find most sacred
To the place we've bleed our love away

And I am sick and tired of being told
To be happy to be grateful that I'm still alive
To get right back up again like nothing happened
If I want to suffer then goddamnit let me suffer

Its my own way to live its my own way to sing
With a broken spine and a broken voice
I am never getting back up ever again
Please don't hate me for giving up

Please dear I want you to know
who's dying here in the freezing snow
Who's lying down freezing cold with sickening feelings
Ill make it a point to be as weak as possible
So you can swoop in and do your thing
But in reality I don't want to be saved

I just want to die
Is that so hard to believe
But I want you to be satisfied
So go on and save my life
Whatever makes you happy
(I just want to see you smile)

And I am sick and tired of being told
To be happy to be grateful that I'm still alive
To get right back up again like nothing happened
If I want to suffer then goddamnit let me suffer

Its my own way to live its my own way to sing
With a broken spine and a broken voice
I am never getting back up ever again
Please don't hate me for giving up

But if it makes you happy
Ill put on a good show
Ill wake up every morning
With a smile on my face
Acting like everything is okay
But knowing that nothing
Has ever been okay
So I'm sorry to say
That I'm giving up today

I'm giving up today
I hope that you find that okay
I'm giving up today
I'm sick and tired of being alive
I'm sick and tired of living a lie
I'm giving up today
IM GIVING UP TODAY!!!!!

Stick By Me

I'm just a kid with no ambition
I fail at all attempts of motivation
Self-loathing has never felt so good

I think I hate myself
For all of the right reasons
Cause the wrong ones never stuck by me

Slit wrists
Fast kicks
Quick fix
Gotta feel better
Gotta get better
Now

I'm just a kid, its not worth living
The future is something I just don't believe in
But my past is as broken as I am

I think I hate myself
For all of the right reasons
Cause the wrong ones never stuck by me

Slit wrists
Fast kicks
Quick fix
Gotta feel better
Gotta get better
Now

I'm just a kid with no ambition
I fail at all attempts of motivation
Self-loathing has never felt so good

Alive

At one time I was alive
I actually wanted to be alive
Now my patience is running thin
Life is losing any point it once had

At one time I was alive
I actually wanted to be alive
Now my patience is running thin
Life is losing any point it once had

Times like this I wish I was afraid
To take my life to take anything at all
it is not fair to you That I am who I am
So please let me be nonexistent

Times like this I wish I was afraid
To take my life to take anything at all
it is not fair to you That I am who I am
So please let me be nonexistent

Fake pills false wills Is everything I am
There's no reason why I should be alive
There's no reason why I would still be alive
There's no reason why I could call myself alive

Fake pills false wills Is everything I am
There's no reason why I should be alive
There's no reason why I would still be alive
There's no reason why I could call myself alive

Honesty

Drinking to the death of me
Fucking is the end of me
I have no future where I'm concerned
blood sweat and tears are to much for me
Ill stick with blood and tears its easier
To bleed and whine about my life
Its all I have its all I have

Broken changing without a doubt
Who am I who I am is
Sickening words strung together
Telling lies about who I am
Despite not knowing the truth
I am the lost soul in plain sight
blurry eyed I've lost my way
But you have too you have too

Turn off the lights
Its to bright in here for me
I like the dark But I'm afraid
Of everything around me that could be
Lurking in the shadows
Like I always do
Like I always do
I guess that means I'm afraid of myself
Fuck it I'm afraid of myself.

Conventional or
Superficial thoughts
He said she said
That I'm not worth it
Well fuck it I'm not worth it

Unconventional or
Motivational thoughts
He said she said
That I am worth it
Fuck it I'm still not worth it

Now I am forever silent
Screaming whispers
It can't be known
Just who I am by how I look
My conscience yearns to shut out
Everything you say to me
While I just want to shut off
Every fucking sound I hear tonight
I'm sick of hearing your voice
I'm so fucking sick of your voice

Girls

All the girls look at me
With such disgust in their face
I'd go home and cry
But I've found where I belong
With a middle finger pointed at them
I've lived my life alone

So hostile I look upon the world
With such wrath I cater to my intentions
Ill make a mark before I die
I swear it girly I can't be your guy

This life was given to me
In the form of a regret
They wrote upon my wall
Told my story before I had a chance

Did you have a laugh
A belly full of past
Written in bold ink
Typed down for all to see
Or is it hidden in a diary
Your secrets safe with me

Maybe my rambling is justified
Maybe my life is a lie
Maybe I'm on the top of the world
Maybe I've fallen so far...

CUT OFF MY MIDDLE FINGER
(before I point it at you)
END ALL OF MY AGGRESSIVE
(make peace at last)
WOULD THAT MAKE ME A BETTER PERSON
DO YOU THINK YOU'D LOVE ME MORE.

Cut off my middle finger
End all of my aggression
Would that make me a better person
Do you think you'd love me more...

Yep. Another Shitty Punk Song.

Take a look at me
What is it that you see
Friendly fire describing me
I took a hit while screaming
"Baby give me some meaning"

Now it's
Lock and load i'm laughing
Ha-Ha we'll never die
Shot fired across the world
Girlfriends never matter
When you're in a war!
It helps to protect something
But I suggest the cat.

Don't question me
There will be a dee
Clothes against the ground
Bodies slamming down
Sex is not a feat
It's just something to complete
While Punk Rock isn't music
It just helps us lose it
So join a metal band
Cause they know how to do it.
Or at least they think they do

So Music isn't good
At least that's what i'm told
All the critics like to say
Bring us back to the older days
When everything was good
Well fuck that it's always good
Music will never be bad.

Quick Fast And Pointless.

Do you remember your dreams
Or anything in between
Never really had the brains
You hardly knew my name

You're a sinking ship.
But i'm a crashing plane
And i'm crashing right in to you.

The stories tell me
To never play with fire
But here I am
Lighting us a flame

Now we're brunt out
We're dead and i don't care
Set fire to your hair
When you told me what to wear

One thing to think about
Never stop to pout
Cause some guy will come
Take you off your feet
They'll leave you high and dry
And you'll begin to cry
Start all over again
Then you'll be dead
And when they start saying
"I Wish You Were A Virgin"
Kick them in the groin.

Solace In The Grey Lines

I have trouble with the dark side
I just can't seem to shake it
I mean why do I feel so evil
If I can't even do a bad deed

The force is not that strong in me
I'm nothing special
I'm barely even a jedi
But still this war inside me
Is the hardest thing I will ever face

(mind trick!)
I am not the one you're looking for
Just the one you're dying for
Please don't let me go
Because I can't
Seem to face this on my own

Good and Evil
the only choices
That's what I have been told
But i find solace
In the grey lines
Neutrality just seems so much better to me

The grey is my own place
Cause I don't give a f--- Anyway
Let's ignore the war
Hide in cowardice
But maybe I'm not
that much of a coward
I'm just standing
for what I believe in
Peace
I believe in peace

The best weren't good or bad
Maybe they were both
Maybe they were dark
Maybe they were light
Then happened to join the other side
But this war is so damn pointless
In the end everyone is dead

Don't think in light and dark
Just think in you and me

(mind trick!)
I am not the one you're looking for
Just the one you're dying for
Please don't let me go
Because I can't
Seem to face this on my own

Good and Evil
the only choices
That's what I have been told
But i find solace
In the grey lines
Neutrality just seems so much better to me

I believe in peace

At Four A.M

Can you see me now
I'm on top of the world
Looking down I'm scared of heights
what if I fall what if I die
Tell me why the hell I wanted
to be all the way up here

The city is dead at four am
No ones out
Its kind of sad
I wish you were alive
to spend the time with me
no one else dares to stay awake
With me

The lost of words in my mouth
Prove to you that I never loved you
Or just that I never knew what to tell you
When you did the things that I never liked
This story ends when I die
THE STORY ENDS WHEN I DIE!

Can you see me now
I'm at the bottom of the chain
Looking up Is very scary
Everyone is bigger then me
Tell me how the hell
I came to be down here

The city is dead at four am
No ones out
but I'm kind of happy
because your here
You're alive with me
please won't you stay awake
With me

The lost of words in my mouth
Prove to you that I never loved you
Or just that I never knew what to tell you
When you did the things that I never liked
This story ends when I die
THE STORY ENDS WHEN I DIE!

The lost of words in my mouth
Prove to you that I never loved you
Or just that I never knew what to tell you
When you did the things that I never liked
This story ends when I die
THE STORY ENDS WHEN I DIE!

Hero

My life is one of pointless irony
Deadly to the point of sharpened steel
I couldn't remember the last breath taken
Before I descended to tragedy

I'm hurt and lost within my mind
These battle scars one of a kind
My tired life is left in binds
But maybe I'm just waiting for someone to be kind

The extra lives I've gained along the way
Have kept me going throughout my days
One ups are more useful then they use to be
Those green mushrooms are all I want to keep

Now I can jump but not that far
Off the ledge, bounce off that shell
Please tell me why I am doing this
For there is no girl waiting to be saved

My life is one of deadly risks
That I take despite the consequences
I can't look back I can only can move forward
Before I descended to tragedy

Broken and scared within my mind
These warrior scars one of a kind
My exhausted life is left in binds
But maybe I'm just waiting for anyone to be kind

The extra lives I've gained along the way
Have kept me going throughout my days
One ups are more useful then they use to be
Those green mushrooms are all I want to keep

Now I can jump but not that far
Off the ledge, bounce off that shell
Please tell me why I am doing this
For there is no girl waiting to be saved
there is no girl waiting to be saved

The Fruits Of Fore-Warning

Sorry always seems like a lie with you
Just like how envy was new to you
Its frightening to think about
All the scars I've got from you

You pushed me out like I was nothing
You took me back like I was something
I know now its all my fault
I should of turned the other way
But I couldn't see the path in front of me

The look in your eyes
Was always something
I wanted to deny
But the way you sang your siren song
Always brought me back to you
But now I think I have learned better
Your approval doesn't matter
Just write your woes in an envelop
Signed to me in weathered letters
With this arrangement
I think we will all be able to cope

You used love like a pawn in your schemes
You left truth behind for fun and games
its frightening to think about
The future we could of never had

You pushed me out like I was nothing
You took me back like I was something
I know now its all my fault
I should of turned the other way
But I couldn't see the path in front of me

Take this song
As a final warning
I am done
I hope your mourning
Cause I could care less


The look in your eyes
Was always something
I wanted to deny
But the way you sang your siren song
Always brought me back to you
But now I think I have learned better
Your approval doesn't matter
Just write your woes in an envelop
Signed to me in weathered letters
With this arrangement
I think we will all be able to cope

Take this song
As a final warning
I am done
I hope your mourning
Cause I could care less

Crossroads

Let's meet on the crossroads
Where we all left
Where we last met
Where we all forgot
who the hell we were

Since then I've been lost
Never knew who I was
Fill me in on your life
Cause I forgot
who you were

I know I made a mistake
Taking the road less traveled
But the truth is that
Its just the road less talked about

So,
Let's meet on the crossroads
Where we all went
Where we first met
Where we all knew
who the hell we were

Before this happened
Never knew who you were
Fill me in on your life
Cause I think I want to know
who you are

I know I made a mistake
Taking the road less traveled
But the truth is that
Its just the road less talked about

So,
Let's meet on the crossroads
One last time
We can face our failures
We can face our lives
And this will be the last time
We will remember
who the hell we were

Go Back To Start

Go back to start
That's what she said to me
When we were over
and I've taken it to heart
Its time for me to
start all over again

The way those words
Rang in my head
Make me believe
That its better off this way
I'm better off
Where I am today

So this is goodbye
To who I used to be
So this is goodbye
To all of the endings
I used to run from

I think I went the wrong way
Because I've never felt so right
Going left was always my decision
Even when it means I left you

The way those words
Rang in my head
Make me believe
That its better off this way
I'm better off
Where I am today

So this is a greetings
To who I am today
So this is a greetings
To all of the beginnings
I used to run from

I think I went the right way
Because I've never felt so wrong
Going right was always my decision
Even when it means Ill write you
A sad song on who I used to be
On who you used to be

Go back to start
That's what she said to me
When we were over
and I've taken it to heart
Its time for me to
start all over again

Reflection.

Do you understand
What it's like to hate yourself
Your soul
Screaming at your body
Every lasting word
Is drawn out in agony

This will be
The last time we take a look
At the reason
Our life is so meaningless

When you're fucked up
At an early age
There's not much you can do
But try to get rid of all the guilt

I am sick
Of everyone judging me
For being who i am
Cause does it fucking matter
No one can really be fake
Cause they're still being them
But maybe i am mistaken

All i know
Is that i am alive
And that's all the matters
When you're trying
To make it through today

The clock is ticking in my mind
It's counting down til the day i die
I'm not sure where it ends
But I'm hoping
Oh I'm hoping
That I'll die ironically

Ohhhh
The clock is ticking in my mind
It's counting down til the day i die
Sure, I'm afraid
But at least I'll never know
What it's like to be somebody else

Ohhh
Do you know what it's like
To hate yourself

These Eyes

Seeing the world
Through dead eyes
Has led me to believe
That your lies are meant
To comfort me

I only wish
I was alone again
Because i'm beginning to act
So selfishly

The tears in your eyes
Lead me to believe
That everything
Is all my fault
All of the sadness
All of the darkness
Is all my fault
Every mess up
Every fuck up
Is all my fault

Looking around
I've come to see
That these eyes
Aren't meant for me
I want to tear my eyes out
I want to rip my eyes our
Cause i only see you
And everything i put your through

Your last charade
Like a masquerade
I can see right through you
You say you're happy
You say you're fine
I can see right through you
Every laugh
Every smile
I can see right through you

It's not in my mind
It's all in my eyes
I swear on our love
It's all my fault


Looking around
I've come to see
That these eyes
Aren't meant for me
I want to tear my eyes out
I want to rip my eyes our
Cause i only see you
And everything i put your through


My bleeding eyes
They see you cry
My bleeding eyes
They see you cry
My bleeding eyes
They see you cry
My missing eyes
They see you happy.

Save

do you remember all the nights
You made me scream and shout
I stormed out of the house
I walked down to the waterfront
To contemplate my everything

I thought about all the times
We kissed and made up
After we fought and broke up
It makes me sad
to see something solid
So fragile

And its in this light
That the river looks appealing
It might be cold as hell
But at least it knows what I'm feeling

And I'm thinking
I might jump in
And go for a swim

I thought about all the times
We fucked and made up
After we fought and broke up
It makes me sad
to see something solid
So fragile

And its in this light
That the river seems appealing
It might be cold as hell
But at least it knows what I'm feeling

And I'm thinking
I might be saved
But fuck that
who wants to be saved

Do you remember all the nights
I went down to the waterfront
To give up on all of this
To give up on my life
-----
Possibly including not the last part.

Start This

I've made up all the lies
He said to you
I've made up all the lines
He used on you

And I don't get anything
Any love any thanks
Anything I deserve
Is there any reason
I should smile
I've been here for awhile
You think you love him
But you love a lie I made
he caught you on
all my clever lines

I made a mistake
I grow more bitter each day
Now that he's with you
I grow more bitter everyday
I don't know what's wrong with me

Is it love, is it love
That I am feeling
close my eyes close my eyes
I don't want to see
What you two have
In front of me

Part of me hates you
For never realizing
it was always me

Part of me hates me
For never telling you
it was always me

And I don't get anything
Any love any thanks
Anything I deserve
Is there any reason
I should smile
I've been here for awhile
You think you love him
But you love a lie I made
he caught you on
all my clever lines

I've dug a hole
I knew I couldn't escape
I'm in this pit of despair
When he is walking on air

How
did it come, did it come
To all of this
I put a bullet in his chest

Best friends mean nothing
when you are sick
Now I'm sleeping days away
With slit wrists
I wish I never started this

And I don't get anything
Any love any thanks
Anything I deserve
Is there any reason
I should smile
I've been here for awhile
You think you love him
But you love a lie I made
he caught you on
all my clever lines
I wish I never started this...

You're A Hipster ;)

You're a hipster
You piss me off
Why don't you
Make up your mind
Live you own way
Why do you
Dress like everyone
Act like everyone else

You're a hipster
You piss me off
Why don't you
Make up your mind
Live you own way
Why do you
Dress like everyone
Act like everyone else

I HAVE OPINIONS
YOU HAVE LIES
I TAKE A STAND
YOU'LL TAKE A FALL
I BELIEVE IN IDEALS
YOU BELIEVE IN NOTHING

You're a hipster
You piss me off
Why don't you
Make up your mind
Live you own way
Why do you
Dress like everyone
Act like everyone else

Wait...wait...
Aren't some of you're best friends hipsters....?
Oh... Damn... I guess you're right...

You're All Hipsters!
You Make Me Sick!

Plane Crashes.

I'm dying to know
what you think about death
And all the morbid things
that come with eternal rest


I've got a feeling
you've got a darker side
Like secretly enjoying plane crashes in your sleep
Dreaming of eating popcorn in the pilots seat

I'm dying to know
Your deepest desires
Are they dark and depressing
Are they happy and everlasting
what are you dreaming about

I've got a feeling
you've got a darker side
Like secretly enjoying plane crashes in your sleep
Dreaming of eating popcorn in the pilots seat

The past tense of us is me
While the future tense is you
And I'm not sure how I feel
About these prearranged plans
Why did I have to lose myself in you

I'm dying to know
You inside and out
Let me inside, Let me believe
That your safely hidden from me
Or I might take a bite of you

I've got a feeling
you've got a darker side
Like secretly enjoying plane crashes in your sleep
Dreaming of eating popcorn in the pilots seat

Snapping Dynamite

I feel that the
hurt is on tonight
The bad breaks are
catching on tonight

You whisper (whisper)
into my ear
you shiver (shiver)
caught in the cold
Wishing in a well
that you never could tell
Was made
For you

And I feel like
snapping dynamite
Its all I got to
make life right in spite
Of everything
And anything
you put in your mind
like me on top of you
there's bound to be an end to this

the sugar pills are trying
Like liars in bed
They give it their all
But they never give enough

Their trying (trying)
Trying there best
As there hoping (hoping)
Hoping it'll last
Wishing in a well
that you never could tell
Was made
For you

And I feel like
snapping dynamite
Its all I got to
make life right in spite
Of everything
And anything
you put in your mind
like me on top of you
please let there be an end to this

as I'm
Snapping dynamite
I will
say goodbye
Before I
Snap this dynamite
This is my final comfort
This is me
Snapping dynamite.

Sad Pop Song

There's a voice in my head
That wants me to drop dead
Its singing sad pop songs
telling me to move along
To move along with you

I think I'm heading towards insanity
With the words that you say to me
Promising riches and dreams
That I swear you never mean

Oh but I don't want to leave you
When your stuck in my head
Sometimes a smile shows through
Just like if you were in my bed
a smile shows through

There's a voice in my head
That wants me to drop dead
Its singing sad pop songs
telling me to move along
To move along with you

I'm glad you offer me creativity
But with the effect you have on me
Has made me think of suicide
But sometimes I think I'm ready for this ride

Oh but I don't want you anymore
I want you out of my head
and it tears me at my core
To say get out of my bed
It tears me at the core

There's a voice in my head
That wants me to drop dead
Its singing sad pop songs
telling me to move along
To move along without you

The Worse And Best.

A little white lie
A big black eye
Can anything go right
Can anytone be alright
In this world of grey

It's a hit or miss
Like love and loss
That went amiss
With a greater cost

And the worse part of this is
I never made the cut
I never got laid
I've never been saved
From the asshole jacks
Always calling my name
With what they say
I guess i'm gay.

Can anything go right
Can anything be right
When no one is alright
I think i'm alright

It's a miss of a hit
Like the loss of love
That brings me back
To what i hate about you

And the worse part about this is
I always made the cut
I always got laid
I've always been saved
From all the asshole jocks
Always calling my name
With what they said
I'll fuck them up!

Can anything go right
Can anything be right
When no one is alright
I know i'm alright

The Story Goes.

The story starts
with a bang and a boom
(your getting known)
And there's no way
To avoid the lights
When you get to the top

Sing it out loud
That you don't care
For the spotlight
Or what they think
And how they feel

But as the story goes on
You start to give in
To what they want
Playing their songs
Wearing their clothes
Your doing what they want you to do


You sang it out loud
That you didn't care
For the spotlight
Or what they thought
And how they felt

And i've heard this story
Again and again
They say you've sold out
While you're saving face
You want the money
But they want your love
You had to change

So they turned their backs
Now your on the radio
Your single is the only song
Anybody knows
And that's how the story goes

We'll sing it out loud
We'll never sell out
We'll sing it out loud
We'll never break up
Together forever
We'll rock for ourselves
(and the fans)
Unlike our favorite bands
We'll never give up

Going Out With You

MY WALLS ARE UP
THEY'RE PAPER THIN
DON'T BLOW THEN DOWN
ILL FALL APART
GOING OUT WITH YOU

AND IM TO EMOTIONAL
TO CARE AT ALL
CAUSE WHEN I DO
I START THE SUICIDE
ILL KILL YOU ALL
BEFORE I DIE
IM GOING OUT WITH YOU

IM LIKE THE GHOST
YOU NEVER SAW
HAUNTING MYSELF
WITH THOUGHTS OF YOU
IM GOING OUT WITH YOU

MY TEETH ARE CLENCHED
MY NAILS ARE GONE
SO FUCKING ANXIOUSLY
IM BIDING MY TIME

GOING OUT WITH YOU
STARE AND SLIT
MY WRISTS DRY
ILL BE GRINNING
ON THE DAY I DIE
IM GOING OUT WITH YOU

AND IM TO EMOTIONAL
TO CARE AT ALL
CAUSE WHEN I DO
I START THE SUICIDE
ILL KILL YOU ALL
BEFORE I DIE
IM GOING OUT WITH YOU

FINGERS BLEEDING
PAIN RECEEDING
GOING NUMB
INTO OVERDRIVE
GUNS IN HAND
TARGET SET
IM SO FUCKED UP
I DON'T CARE
I WANT YOU DEAD
HERE'S TO SAYING GOODBYE
I CARE FOR YOU ALL
BUT IM TOO SICK
TOO INSANE TO GO ON
BUT I WANT TO GO OUT
IN A BANG
IN A BLAST
IM GOING OUT WITH YOU

AND IM TO EMOTIONAL
TO CARE AT ALL
CAUSE WHEN I DO
I START THE SUICIDE
ILL KILL YOU ALL
BEFORE I DIE
IM GOING OUT WITH YOU
IM GOING OUT WITH YOU!